Not funny

Quick post.

I heard about the Fake IPL Player Blog. The blog cornered space today's edition of The Hindu - in my mind, the most conservative Indian newspaper when it comes to gossips. When i read the blog, i was surprised that it had ZERO humour & was very prosaic. 

A few years back, Drew Bledsoe - an above average American footballer (the closest Indian comparison is Saurav Ganguly!) was replaced by a upcoming, young, good looking, Jessica Simpson-dating Tony Romo. A few weeks later, TonyHomo.com came to life that was a fictional first-hand commentary of Drew Bledsoe (who thinks he is God's gift to mankind!) criticize Tony Romo's actions. Great blog, amazing humour & must-read for even non-American Football fans.

So, to the author of Fake IPL Player blog, you can gain some lessons from TonyHomo. Happy surfing.

NE Pats V/s NY Jets - Wild Card Playoff Game

Musings from the NE Pats - NY Jets game:

• What did we realize in the DAL-SEA game? Romo is not the second coming of Brady circa 2001. The ghosts of ‘iron leg’ Drew Dledsoe are exhorted forever …
• Did i read right in NFL gamecenter - the Pats went “NO HUDDLE” for the second play of the game?
• I hope mangini has some master plan as it looks like the “Empire Strikes back” is the show for the afternoon. Disclaimer: They just played ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’ on TV!
• And the Jets go "no huddle" .. looks like the defenses might have a long day ... BTW, has there been any game with a significant "no huddle" strategy adopted
  across both teams
• thats probably the difference between the jets and the pats. Both went "no huddle" - Pats went 4/6 for 50 yds on passing; 4 and 15 yds on the ground with a TD to boot. The jets had a sack, a scramble and an incomplete. but what scares me is, mangini is gonna put together a great team within a couple of seasons and AFC East might turn out like a AFC West (strong teams!)
• Oh no! Not the 15 yd penalties again!!!
• Great! Ramsey is in! Atleast Chad knew which direction to throw to ...
• Purds/93: In this universe, everything that Tom Brady does is right and everything that Peyton does is wrong. I thought you figured that out by now!
• In my books, Mangini missed a trick ... I dont think punting from your opponent's 36 yd line will win you games in playoffs. maybe i am wrong, but he did not take a right decision
• 105/Purds: I said it in humor., since mine is bad - maybe you did not see it. BTW, i am upset that the Pats get a lot of 15 yd penalties but i also think that they are naive to draw attention from the ref (this is the 8th or 9th game where i have noticed a 15 yd penalty and the pats have not been able to adjust to it)
• Was that a QB sneak from TB on 3 & 1? Since the Pats use it a lot, why are the opponents falling for it, for so long?
• another 3&7 ... will the pats pass defense raise upto the situation?
• The Pats are grinding the clock ... current drive started with 7:05 in second quarter and we are already down to 2 min warning .. i guess they will take another minute off the clock
• The Pats take 6:54 off the clock for a 15 play drive killing any chances of Jets reply to the Pats score (unless there is a kickoff TD return!)
• NE 12-Brady 10th straight playoff game with a TD pass, tying Ken Stabler & Joe Montana for 3rd longest streak in NFL history (Favre 16 and Marino 12). Some of
  the stats that don't add much value to any measure
• There we go again ... another 15 yd penalty... as much as the pats fans can moan that they are BS calls., the fact that the pats players are being careless means that they are not learning anything ...
• Is Asante Samuel in the game? I dont see him on the stats sheet.
• C.Pennington to NYJ 46 for -6 yards. Wouldn’t that be a sack?
• Wilfork chased down by Mangold .. man, that is two huge people rolling down the field ...
• Is there anyone here who agrees with the Jets strategy of going for FGs rather than taking chances when in the redzone? I didnt like the last one and i didnt like this one as well.
• Chad Jackson sighting in the game ... alas, only an incomplete
• Pennington: 20/31 for 256 & 1 TD; Brady: 20/31 for 202 & 1 TD; pretty remarkable!
• How did Asante NOT get picked for Pro-bowl? Qn2: Will NE pats give Asante a huge contract or will they leave him to go as a free-agent?
• 320/James: Couldn't have said it better. Pats win because they have been before and they have a good running game. The Jets will be here (if they dont disgress in mangini's sophomore year!) with a good running game. Maybe they should move up the draft and grab AP
• One final word: The Jets can be proud with the way they were able to stick for three and half quarters with the Patriots - a much superior team. With a few additions - pass rush and running game, they can stay as a force to recokon in the AFC East.

Week 16: 1 PM NFL Sunday Games - Second Half

I usually stay up every sunday night to follow the New England Patriots games. I usually log on Football Outsiders' game day discussion forum and record my minute-to-minute musings. Summarizing them below:

• Man, the IND Run defense has to be bad when you realize that RON DAYNE has 20 carries for 113 yds and 2 TDs.
• Did the Pats find out something against the Jags? They seem to be in shotgun on most of the passing situations.
• Wow! i complain about Pats lack of 20yd+ plays and they give us 2 in one drive. Both with rookie TE - D. Thomas. Is this the end of the road to Graham?
• The pats with a good field position (courtsey the missed FG!). Can we have some points that would take us one step closer to another post-season? (Note: They advanced to 26 yds, got a false start and missed the ensuing 49 yd FG attempt)
• looks like a shoot-out in St. Loius. I guess not a lot of people saw that coming? BTW, a question to the WAS mgmt? What will you do with Druckett at the end of the season?
• If there is anyone following the cover-your-eyes Tampa-CLE game, Derrick Brooks with a INT returned for TD. Guess he realized that it was the only way to score a TD in this game. A question. Will Brooks get any consideration for HoF? (Note: I was wrong on the offensive TD part. They had one a few plays before!)
• Did someone see D Thomas coming? I thought i saw his reference in a couple of games, but today looks like his break-out party
• Bush for a punt return TD. Boy, we are gonna see Peter King raving about RB in MMQB tomorrow (Note: TD called back)
• Texans still have 3mins to go down 30+ yds for atleast a FG and burn the COLTS. Go TEXANS. Go
• Request to FO staff: Can we have an analysis on Pats Defense on 3rd down situations. My perception is that on 3rd & short and/or when the opposition tries a run - they are succesful. I feel they have been burned on 3rd & long/opposition passing on 3rd down situation. Any quick responses
• TEXANS WIN. That will mean that the Colts will have to play the wildcard round as well. Doesn't bode well for their defense.
• Seems that this week is Bush's coming out party as a running back.
• As things stands as of now, i think TB is going to have a good DPAR for the week. Lots of run DPAR points on third downs.
• Can someone remember a deeper RB class than the class of 2006? Reggie Bush, LM, Addai, Drew, Deangelo (to a lesser extent), Norwood, Washington(?-Jets), Lundy (?-Texans). All seem to have made a mark in atleast one game.
• Pats leaving it a little too close for comfort. With LM & CD, i am hoping that the Pats can run out the clock.
• The Jags need 25 - 30 yds to take to FG range. Pats defense need one good play
• NE WINS. They have none to blame for leaving it close. In the end, the defense has to make one close play and they made it, with their first sack & turnover of the day.
• I think you should attribute the Bills loss to the coach or bad decision by QB. They were on the 25 yd line & within FG range. They should have tried to get as many risk-free yards and kicked a FG. Instead a christmas present to the red hot Titans, who have a realistic chance of post-season.

NFL Week 15 1 PM Game - 2nd Half

• If Taylor does not win the Defensive Player of the year award., we might as well as scrap it!
• Taylor has 12.5 sacks, 9 forced fumbles, 1 fumble recoverd for 19 yards, 2 interceptions for 71 yards and 2 TDs.
• Yikees! Harrington gives it away with an INT!
• In comparison to Taylor, Urlacher has 0 Sacks, 3 INTs for 39 Yards, 1 forced fumble and 1 fumble recovered for 1 yard. He is in with as much a chance as Taylor and that is why these awards should be renamed as popularity awards.
• Do we have a R Doyle fumble in the end zone in the script? Sadly., nope
• Pacman Jones has a Kickoff return for 70 yds (85 incl. 15 yd face mask!), 1 punt return for 8 yds, 1 INT for TD and 0.5 sack. Some more maturity off the field, he
  could be the next champ bailey
• Hobbs for 93 yd kickoff TD return! Special teams and Defense winning it for the Patriots
• Hester has one more big punt return. Great! he is stamping his ticket to next season's pro-bowl as well
• TEN could be the giant playoff hopes killer team in the AFC. give it some thought! NE Pats are there next and i dont think i am confident enough to say that they can beat the TEN hands-down. Also, come next season - TEN can be the Miami of 2005 season
• Can the Offense give me a TD atleast now? For crying out loud, you have all of 29 yds to go (Note: NE Pats get a sack and punt. Yikees!)
• Garrad with one more defense TD with a INT to Hope. All he used to do was win games. What happened to him?Memo to all Football analysts: Please, please - dont tell "All V Young does is win games". Atleast show some knowledge of the game by acknowledging that the defense does win games (like this match!)
• T Brady: Why pass for 3 yards when you need 10? Pls understand., you are better than Carr.
• If you remove the 43 yd pass by Brady, he has a stat of 15/21 for 66 yds. Thats 4 yds per catch made. Yee Gods!
• Kitna: How bad! You throw a INT and follow it up with a face mask.
• Will the NE Pats offense give me a TD! It's all of 5 yards i am asking for!!!!! (Note: NE goes 3 and out and get a FG)
• What in the world has happened to the NE Offense? Tom Brady - what is going on
• R.Parrish to BUF 2 for -15 yards (D.Pope). How on earth can you lose 15 yds on a punt return!
• With an offense like NE Pats, i wonder if they will have success against the likes of the BAL, SD in the playoffs. Atleast for fun, the Pats should try and throw the ball downfield or else Brady might just forgot that such a thing exists
• Favre having more fun! (Note: 3 INTs, 1 Fumble lost for the game!)
• Saints should acquire A Thomas in the free agency.
• DET - How can you not convert from the 12 yd line? I dont think you deserve to win even though BF is handing it to you on a platter. BTW., i think all BF does is 'win games'
• how can one have illegal formation on a QB kneel down?
• Morency should be cut by the GB Packers with immediate effect. How can he score a TD when he has to step out of bounds at the 1 for BF to do: (a) One more meaningless TD (b) INT in the End zone for increasing the amount of fun he is having.

NFL Sunday 1 PM Match - First Half

I usually stay up every sunday night to follow the New England Patriots games. I usually log onto to Football Outsiders' game day discussion forum and record my minute-to-minute musings. Summarizing them below:

• Pac-Man Jones is on fire.
• New England has a good running game going while the passing game seems anameic.
• Is there anything new?Reality Check: At 4/7 for 21 yds - Tom Brady, your numbers are as good as David Carr. Short passes on checks
• Favre sacked, fumbles. Yawn! Anything new around?
• Kitna might be the worst game manager in NFL! Sorry, i forgot about Brad Johnson!
• I wish the Pats offense shows up one more time before the season ends.
• My money says that Favre will be given a chance for passing TD
• Carr., Intercepted. Thank the NE Defense
• wow! it 10-0 in the superdome? Did the saints leave a lot in their Sunday night match against the dallas last week?
• The sad part is that inspite of a great year, Colvin won't make the Probowl. Shawm Merriman, Phillips (Both SD), A THomas (BAL) are right up there in terms of
  recall. And they do deserve to be above Colvin
• I wish to volunteer myself for the Jaguars. I can be completed trusted to hand-off the ball to the running backs and all i do is win games for you doing it!. PS: Atleast i dont throw interceptions when you ask me to check for wind movements
• wow! the pats starting on the 31 yd line. i need a TD on this one. Not a FG
• i didnt realize that the JAX-TEN match pitted 2 QBs who 'just win games'.
• Brady. DONT RUN! This is the Texans and you are too valuable to risk any injury in this game
• NO Saint defense had an intensive training session with the Colts defense. Thank you very much! Now we cant tackle a dummy!
• TB starts on CHI 26. Something tells me it is either a missed FG from here or a CHI INT returned for TD (Note: I was wrong. TB did connect on a 45 yd FG!)
• 3-20 against the NE Pats. Something tell me that they will convert. Isnt it surprising NE pats would rather have 3-1 rather than 3-20 (Note: wrong again. Texans didnt convert., but this is the Texans. Anomoly to every rile)
• Wow! That epitomizes how ugly the Texans are. You need 20 yds and you try a short pass!
• NE Offense: One advice. MOVE TOWARDS opponent's endzone., not yours
• i got a great idea! how about swapping NE & PHI playbooks. That means more short passes in the PHI book and more long passes in the NE book. Round of applause for the genius.i can see someone patting on my back. Nope that is a spider!
• 1:43 and the ball on NO 2. If Drew Brees gets a TD, i guess the debate for the MVP will be over
• i think the def pass interference rule should be modified. DPI should mean that the offense gets 5 yds and automatic first down. Also, you could think of penalizing the defense one member (10 players instead of 11) on the next play.

Sunday Night Football - Random Musings

Monday morning & Tuesday Morning in my life has become quite an event. With 2 games of american football shown in India, i make sure that all work on these mornings can be postponed beyond 10 AM starts in office.

Yesterday was a game between Cowboys and Saints and i added comments to FO Webpage during the first hald and since i had to switch off the laptop and get going to office, did not put this on the FO website.

• Reggie Bush has improved his prospects of a long career in the NFL. Why? I am not going to go ga-ga, that is being done by the football analysts. What captured my attention during the 62 yd screen pass TD is how he used his blockers effectively. He did not try and accelarate through the hole to show-off his speed and get knocked down by the defenders. Instead, he followed his blockers and made a killer move to leave the last 2 defenders gaping at the 10 yd line. Welcome to NFL, you are late by about 12 weeks while others like Maroney, Noriwood and Maurice Jones-Drew figured that out earlier.
  
• After getting rid of the browns curse (to LBC), jeff faine has been pretty good this season. pro-bowl center? nope. Back-up pro-bowl guy? sure, why not.
• While discounting Peyton Manning (who, i grudgingly admit is good! - there i said it), there is none in the NFL who can dictate terms to the opposition as much as Drew Brees is doing now. I wish LT & DB both share the NFL MVP
• Terell Owens is showing commitment on the field, just like Keyshawn Johnson last year - however he has avoided the middle of the field completely. Is there something wrong with him?
• After the cowboys score, there are butterflies in my stomach. Even with a 11 point lead, i think there might be an upset in the air - gosh! look at that pass. Now it is a 18 point lead and the clouds have cleared (literally!, out here). [Post note: after 5 minutes, Drew Brees hooked with Henderson for a 50 yd TD pass and the match was sealed!]
  
• Wow! how many 4th downs with penalties traded all-round? Is this a record?
• I wish John Madden & Al Michaels avoid giggling. They are not bumbling teenegers on their first date, for all that is holy on earth.
• Whoa, whoa! onside kick when up by 25 points. completely unexpected and great
• Bill Parcells is trying to ape Art Shell's sideline poses but doing as bad a job with it as the team's performance today
• Sean Payton for Coach of the Year; Drew Brees, the joint MVP and Colston is the Rookie of the year
• Letting T.O score a touchdown was not the biggest of the issue with Fred Thomas. It is 4th down and even an interception would leave with a worse-off field position than you would have by simply knocking the ball. Coupled with the fact that you have a thumb injuiry, it is a disaster to try and come down with a INT and his little selfishness costed the TD. But i think he is sufficiently mad at himself that others can back-off.
• Maybe Peter King got it right. Bill Parcells will make it to the superbowl sideline. Only in spirit - through his former OC - Sean Payton. That said, i am still worried about the saints. They are very raw on defense and unless they inprove there, it is going to be short of SB41!!

American Football: Week 13 1 PM games - 2nd half

Second half thoughts as posted in Football Outsiders' game day discussion forum:

• Larry Johnson ... may be Herm Edwards does not love you. Why? He has already given you 297 carries and you are on record for 410+ carries for the season. Have you thought about life after football yet?
• Packers. You are down by 31 points on your home field in the 3rd quater. Why, in the name of god are you attempting a FG from Jets 15 yd line. This is the moment when TMQ would have written "Game Over" if he already didn't
• Wow! What a 1st round draft pick bust. Mike Williams (USC) has ZERO receptions while Josh McCown, the back QB has one.
• Goat of the Week: R. Grossman ... 3/10 for 22 yds and 3 INTs ... how gross!
• SF 49ers attempt an onside kick and recover. What a sweet play!
• Can you believe it: The two 2-9 teams are ahead at this point
• Can you believe it (Part 2): Colts are behind at this point. After being behind by 14 points, Atlanta offense has scored 24 points.
• Who is this derek anderson? if he is any decent, why is he with the browns?
• Does NE have a lousy 3rd passing defense to compensate for its great 3rd down rushing defense?
• How can you let two 1-30 situations to be converted? How bad is the NE secondary that you are being stood up by one of the worst team in NFL?
• should the pats go for 1 or for 2 if there is a TD now?
• Stop the press! E James has atlast got his first 100 yd game and the YPC is also pretty decent
• I think it is a great thing from NFL to list major milestones reached during the game. Earlier it was about Hanson and now it is Dillion's 11000 yds
• 3-11-NO 8 (13:24) (Shotgun) D.Brees pass short right to R.Bush ran ob at SF 18 for 74 yards. 1-10-NO 18; (12:53) D.McAllister left end to SF 14 for 68 yards (B.Moore). I am confused. I am listing this down from NFL's gamecenter. can someone explain
• With 4 TDs, Reggie Bush has ensured that Peter King is gonna smooch all over him in tomorrow's MMQB (wait it is 0230 here and so technically, it is today's MMQB)
• Wow., INT, fumble and sack-fumble in NE-DET game. And sigh., we are all professionals here.
• Was that a 60 yd field goal by the Browns? 60 YARDS (scream! and everyone at home are awake)
• Manning is 350 yds on 28 attempts with 1 TD and 2 FGs and still LOSES. Aye god! This one is a mulligan and does not count against him
• Browns should just attempt a FG right away!
• Can someone explain why the BROWNS ARE RUNNING. Why are they not trying for a FG right away?
• The Pats win. Boy, was it ugly?

American Football 1PM matches - First Half Thoughts

I usually stay up every sunday night to follow the New England Patriots games. I usually log onto to Football Outsiders' game day discussion forum and record my minute-to-minute musings. Summarizing them below:

• 3 & 1: Peyton ., why are you throwing? Hasn't Addai been good to get the yard.
• And now V Young is intercepted. Ye gods., we are all professional here
• Did anyone had R. Cadwell in their loser league team. He is gonna ruin your day. 3 long passes from T Brady. What a day
• Is it only me who sees that L Maroney has not lived up to the hype generated by the experts. As of now, he has 14 yds on 4 carries and seem to me Addai might be the better RB of the first round draft (oh., do i need to tell Reggie Bush is still missing)
• Gore: 3 Carries for -1 yds; Drew Brees 3/7 for 30 yds. Some fantasy owners are having a bad start
• Pats: 17 plays for 81 yds and a Field Goal. I read somewhere that the Pats offense needs to have it picture perfect to get a TD this season and rank in the bottom half for TDs from outside the red zone - both explainable because of lack of a big time playmaker WR. I have suddenly started believing in that.
• LT 51 yds run for Touchdown. And then there are other RBs
• Why would you have Chad Scott to cover Williams - one of the top 5 WRs in NFC?
• Kewl., the lions are mounting a fight at the Pats. I want to see how NE responds with its offensive tools when we are down by 10.
• Whew! Thanks Vrabel. Can the offense please show-up without penalties and sputtering?
• I somehow like Wilson (Cardinals) as a probowler than roy williams (5 INTs) for the NFC safety. I think he might be the only probowler from the team
• Confession time: Vince Young is good. Vince Young is good. Vince Young is good. Now., i got to write that down 97 more times to ... never mind
• Asante Samuels for probowl. On the other hand, what is the chances that the Pats are going to sign him back. That is gonna test their fundamental philosophy on player evaluation
• Brady., i am sorry - your offense is not bad., i know ... i erred again ... and also can you please let me know who in the staff handed my earlier comment to you so that i can ....
• I want Martybowl back for the second half. Just don't know where LT is gonna finish this year. Trillion yds, billion rushing TDs, million reception yds, thousand receiving TDs and hundred passing TDs. Will not be surprised if he does acheive that.
• Reggie Bush - 2TDs. Was he finally picked up from his house in San Diego?

Dada, remember this: TO

Dada., now that you have packed the rooshagullas and are catching a flight for South Africa, please hear just 2 words from me: Terrell Owens aka TO

You don't know him - here is a quick primer:

• Terrell Owens is an obscenely gifted wide receiver in american football whose self-indulging tendencies has overshadowed his achievements on the field. Sounds very familiar?
• Not once but twice has been driven out of town because of his lack of respect for his teammates. Sounds very familiar?
• He called his employers & their football organization as 'class-less'. Sounds very familiar?
• He suffers from wears-my heart on the sleeve-but-cant-keep-mouth-shut syndrome. Sounds very familiar?
• Criticizes the coach as being against him. Sounds very familiar?
• In San Francisco, TO cost his coach the job (read John Wright). Sounds very familiar?

Now that you are back in the side, i hope you would only think of aiding India when we have not been having a great tour of SA. I respect your contributions to indian cricket as it's most sucessful captain and would hope you would do nothing to sully your reputation, your coach, your captain, your organization, your country and most importantly YOURSELF.